Define 'Happy Holidays'
by SushiBomb
Summary: DISCONTINUED. Nono thinks that Tsuna's family and the Varia should bond a bit. Unfortunately, he is the ONLY one who thinks sending the Varia to Tsuna's house for Christmas is a good idea. Rated for language, and Varia-ness. Enjoy.
1. They're staying where?

A/N: *Sigh* Hey guys, S*B here with the new and improved Define 'Happy Holidays.' For those of you who aren't aware, this was originally a Thanksgiving themed story. But because I am the queen of procrastinating, indecisiveness, and inconvenient writer's block, I changed the theme to Christmas, since I felt that writing a fic about thanksgiving at the end of December was the epitome of retarded. I also went through and edited little misspellings and grammatical errors. Thus, here you go. =)

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed/ faved/alerted this story so far! I hope you like the newer version!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn… [Insert witty joke here]

* * *

Define 'Happy Holidays':

They're staying...where?

* * *

The cool December wind was frigid against Gokudera's pale skin as he casually walked the now familiar path to his boss and friend's house. The silver-haired youth pulled his navy –colored blazer tighter around his slim frame, teeth chattering involuntarily as he stuffed his cold hands deep into his pockets, shivering when a strong gust of wind blew past.

Gokudera wasn't particularly fond of cold weather. A sudden, albeit annoyingly familiar voice shouted from somewhere behind him. The storm guardian unconsciously sped up a little.

"Hey! Gokudera wait up!" Yamamoto called as he ran after the now sprinting silverette. Being overwhelming the more athletic of the two, he of course, caught up fairly quickly. He slapped a hand on the shorter teen's shoulders.

"Let go of me you baseball freak!" Gokudera barked snappishly as he shook his shoulder free of Yamamoto's powerful grip. He continued walking quickly, trying to get away from the plucky teen.

Not that it would work, of course.

"You heading to Tsuna's house too?" Yamamoto asked in that chipper tone of his, folding his toned arms behind his head as he fell into step next to Gokudera. The shorter of the two shrugged begrudgingly, but made no effort to ditch the dark-haired adolescent. Taking the silence as a sign to keep talking, Yamamoto continued.

"I wonder what Tsuna wanted to see us for? Did he tell you?" The optimistic rain guardian asked looking at Gokudera, who just stared straight ahead determinedly as they strolled onto the street where Tsuna's house was located.

Gokudera shook his head in a huff.

"No, he didn't tell me anything. Jyuudaime just said to come over as soon as possible, because he had something to show us." The cranky teen snapped at him.

Yamamoto put a finger to his mouth pensively.

"Ya know? He sounded pretty upset when he called me this morning. I wonder what's wrong?" He pondered quietly as they finally made it to the gate of their boss's modest two story house. Gokudera rapped on the door lightly before stepping back respectfully. A few seconds later, Tsuna's mother answered the door, looking more perky and cheerful than usual.

"Merry Christmas okaa-sama!" They both said, waving.

"Oh, Gokudera-kun! Yamamoto-kun! Merry Christmas! How nice to see you boys again!" The youthful woman politely stepped aside to allow the two teens to enter the foyer. As the two removed their shoes, Nana bounced excitedly.

"Did you boys hear the wonderful news?" She gushed. Gokudera and Yamamoto exchanged slightly confused glances before shaking their heads. Nana giggled girlishly into her hands, looking more like a middle-school girl than a suburban housewife with a son.

"We're going to have visitors over for the holiday weekend! Oh, I'm so happy! Isn't this wonderful?" She beamed as she pointed up the stairs.

"Tsu-kun is in his room. I'll bring you all some snacks soon, okay?" She said cutely. The two teens nodded, smiling at the woman's youthful enthusiasm. They made their way up the stairs, to the last room on the left, where they knew Tsuna was waiting for them with apparently wonderful news.

Or maybe not.

Gokudera eagerly pushed open the door without knocking, letting himself and Yamamoto into the humble bedroom of the Vongola Tenth.

"Good afternoon, Jyuu…dai...me…" He ended lamely as he took in the sight of his boss. The Vongola heir was sitting at the kotatsu in the middle of his room with his head on the table, his lightly tanned cheek lying against the cool surface of the table top. He was muttering something dejectedly to himself, sighing and whimpering every few seconds. He didn't even appear to notice Lambo coloring on his face with a sharpie, laughing quite loudly in his ear.

In short, he looked pathetic.

It seemed that whoever was coming over was not someone Tsuna was very thrilled about seeing. The brunette sat up at the voice of his self-proclaimed right hand man. Gokudera noticed the lifelessness in Tsuna's movements as he waved at him and Yamamoto.

"Hey Gokudera-kun, Yamamoto." He sighed, motioning for them to sit as he ran a tired hand through his russet locks.

"What's up Tsuna? You look like crap." Yamamoto pointed out. He was swiftly punched in the back of the head by one, Hayato Gokudera.

"Hey, baseball freak! Show the Jyuudaime the proper respect when you talk to him!" He growled out vehemently. Yamamoto rubbed his aching head, grimacing. That really hurt.

Tsuna shook his head rapidly.

"No No No! Gokudera-kun it's alright! It's true!" The two older teens ceased their bickering. Well, to be fair, Gokudera ceased his one-sided bickering at Yamamoto, who just laughed it off. The future Vongola boss sighed as he cradled his head in both hands.

"I couldn't sleep at all last night. I'm too nervous." He groaned pitiably, once again letting his face smash into the table in frustration/resignation.

"Does it have to do with these 'visitors' your mom was talking about?" Yamamoto asked. Tsuna nodded, 'mmhmm'-ing deplorably without lifting his face from the surface of the table.

"And then some. Get your face off of the table, Dame-Tsuna." Reborn said from the open doorway. The sharply-dressed baby held an official –looking letter in his hand. A bright orange flame burned at the top.

A message from Vongola Nono.

The sun arcobaleno smoothly hopped up on the table, kicking Tsuna in the head roughly.

"I _said_, get your head off the table, Dame-Tsuna, and address your subordinates." The baby repeated. Tsuna groaned, rubbing his sore cheek were Reborn had kicked him.

"Who's coming anyway?"

Tsuna looked at him seriously.

"Them."

Yamamoto looked puzzled for a minute. Who exactly did Tsuna mean? Perhaps his family?

_No that couldn't be. I've never met anyone from Tsuna's family, I don't think. So who could he be talking about?_ The dark-haired athlete thought to himself.

Gokudera however, knew exactly who _them_ was.

He paled visibly, blanching.

"No way… Jyuudaime…t-they're coming here? To Japan?" the brunette nodded, still cradling his head sadly in one hand.

"But-but why?" He whined. If there was ever a group of men on this planet so detestable that they were simply regarded as 'them', it was well, _**them**_. And they were coming to Japan.

"Who guys?"

"The Varia."

Yamamoto's lips curled into a giant toothy smile.

"Squalo's coming?" The young swordsman beamed excitedly. Tsuna dropped his head to the table for the third time.

"They're all coming. And that's not even the worst part… Reborn, show him the letter."

Gokudera looked to Reborn, who had somehow produced a cup of espresso out of thin air, and was calming sipping it, as if Japan's potential doom wasn't on a plane bound straight for Namimori, questionably. The baby simply handed him the letter.

"Nono thinks you should all spend the holidays together. You can bond a little." The fedora-wearing baby said over the rim of the porcelain glass, smirking.

Gokudera grimaced as he read the details of the letter, his frown sinking lower and lower on his handsome face with each sentence. In what parallel universe was shipping a group of maniacally cantankerous assassins to the tenth's humble home a good idea?

"They're staying **here**?" Gokudera nearly fainted.

It seemed that old Nono was finally going senile. He was the _only_ one who seemed to think this could end well.

"So…let me get this straight," Gokudera began as he set the flaming letter down.

"The Varia are coming here. To Japan. For Christmas weekend. And they're staying here, at Jyuudaime's house?" He finished, unabashedly puzzled. There was already a good amount of people staying here at Tsuna's house. Where on Earth would they squeeze six grown men and a baby?

Reborn smirked that conniving little smirk of his again.

"Yep. And don't worry, Tsuna has a pretty big house. There are a few empty rooms both downstairs and up here, not including where Bianchi, Fuuta, I-pin and Lambo sleep. There's plenty of space for everyone."

Yamamoto punched a fist into the air excitedly. Pulling a Ryohei, the athlete shouted joyously.

"Cool! It'll be like an extreme party!"

Gokudera glared daggers at the taller teen. No. It most certainly was _not_ going to be a party.

It had been over six years now since the Ring Battles, and although they weren't on opposing sides anymore, the Varia were still a bunch to be wary of. Even as an adult, Tsuna was _still_ terrified of Xanxus, despite having beaten the older man and thus, earning his respect, to some degree. Not that Gokudera could blame him, of course. The grumpy Varia Commander was in a perpetually tetchy mood, what with his frequent mood swings and rather childish tantrums. Though to be fair, he had mellowed out significantly since their first meeting, even if he did still throw things at Squalo, from what he had heard.

Come to think of it, all of the Varia officers had become more laid-back since then. Gokudera chalked it up to the fact that since their 'esteemed' leader had accepted Tsuna (somewhat), and acknowledged his strength, his subordinates all took that as a sign to chill out a bit. Although, Gokudera found it insulting that, even after all this time, they refused to accept Tsuna as Vongola Decimo.

The group of unruly killers was at the completely opposite end of the spectrum from them. Them, as in Gokudera himself, Yamamoto, of course his beloved Jyuudaime, and their whole little rag-tag family. They were a relatively friendly bunch of kids turned hitmen, with the exception of a select few, naturally.

At the ripe age of twenty, twenty-one for some, the lot of them had graduated from middle school together, then high school, and then proceeded to college together. Over those six years, they had all grown from a noisy bunch of kids, into respectable young adults (again, some more than others) and had becoming pretty much inseparable. Tsuna especially, having shed his meek, pathetic middle school personality, for a more relaxed, confident, and most importantly, peaceful state of being. The brunette had officially matured into a full-fledged mafia boss (although he still fervently shuns that title), a far cry from the 'Dame-Tsuna' he used to be.

But none of that meant shit right now.

Just because they were allies didn't mean that they would be received with open arms upon their arrival. In fact, they should stay in Italy. Forever. But alas…

Gokudera sighed, nearly crying in shame while dragging an irate hand down his face.

If the Varia were coming to Japan, that meant _he_ was coming. That perverted, blonde-haired, 'ushishi-ing,' knife-wielding, nymphomaniac bastard of prince. Gokudera recalled directly after the end of the ring battles, when they and the Varia said their parting words. He groaned at the memory of the ever-grinning blonde not- so- discreetly copping a feel on his ass, saying something so embarrassingly derogatory that Gokudera dared not repeat it, even in his head. And that was just the beginning. From that point on, every time they had any sort of contact with the elite assassin squadron, Belphegor went out of his way to flirt with/ torment the silverette. And the prince was a** shameless** flirt. He remembered once at a meeting between the Varia and the Vongola guardians, where he had somehow ended up sitting next to the knife-wielder.

Gokudera ran a hand through his hair, immediately trying to swab his mind of the memory. Needless to say, that had been the most awkward forty-seven minutes of his young life, what with Belphegor massaging his thigh through the whole thing, and occasionally nipping his ear. The storm guardian shuddered. That was something he'd rather not go through again.

"Kufufufu~... this **is** wonderful news…wonderful, indeed." A new, eerily (and annoyingly) recognizable voice hummed from the window. The Vongola's mist guardian and resident creeper materialized in the last open seat of the pillowed table a few seconds later, smirking face cradled in his hands.

Yamamoto waved happily at the newcomer.

"Hey Mukuro! What's up?" The baseball player slapped a friendly hand on the pale illusionist's slowly tensing shoulder. Hetero-chromatic eyes stared pointedly at the tan hand, his own pale hands balling into fists unconsciously.

"Hello…Yamamoto." He replied tersely, his smile suddenly looking a bit strained.

Gokudera just settled for glaring heatedly at the other teen.

"How long have _you_ been here?" He asked rudely. Mukuro smiled that cryptic little smile of his.

"Kufufufu~ I've been here for a while already. Reborn-san asked me to come over this morning. He said my dearest Kyouya would be here, but it seems that our little carnivore has not yet arrived." The illusionist mock-pouted.

"No matter. I am gloriously overjoyed to hear that those Varia brutes are staying here for the holiday weekend."

Everyone stared at him oddly.

"Why's that?" Tsuna dared ask, wondering for a moment if he _really_ wanted to know that bad. Mukuro smirked, looking a bit perverted.

"Why, my darling little pupil is coming, of course. Kufufu~"

Tsuna sighed for the umpteenth time, slapping his face. The innuendo _there_ was certainly not lost on him, unfortunately. He knew he shouldn't have asked.

He remembered meeting Fran when they were in the future. It wasn't that the mint-haired youth wasn't cool or nice, because he was. It was just that the scandalously obvious attraction between the master and his pupil was extremely…well…

Well, let's just say illusions aren't the _only_ thing Mukuro is a master of, if you get my drift.

The others around the table visible shuddered at the implications behind that clearly **not** innocent statement.

"So, when are they coming anyway?" Gokudera asked, folding his clothed arms on the table.

Tsuna grimaced as he read over the letter.

"Thursday, December 22nd. Um...they're flight gets in pretty late..." He said. Gokudera's eyes widened slightly.

"Hold on a minute...that's..."

Reborn smirked.

"Tomorrow."

**Clunk.**

"Hey, I think Gokudera fell asleep! Wow, he must be really excited!"

Everyone gave Yamamoto a weird look.

* * *

The next night, the group of teens sat in the unreasonably chilly airport, in the waiting area for arriving flights. Mukuro had of course tagged along, wanting to welcome his precious little pupil to his new homeland. Everyone wisely kept their mouths shut.

Tsuna was nervous. Very, very nervous. Every time he had to have any sort of contact with Xanxus, he felt as if he would faint from the pressure the older man's intense gaze alone put on him. And he was staying in his house.

The young Decimo started hyperventilating.

_This is bad…this is really, really bad._ He thought to himself in panic. A hand squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.

"Don't worry Jyuudaime! We won't leave you alone with those psychos for a second!" Gokudera beamed from his seat next to the anxious brunette. Tsuna smiled uncomfortably.

_That won't really help at all. _

Yamamoto checked the time on his phone impatiently.

"When are they supposed to be landing anyway?" He asked, getting fidgety in the unbearably stiff airport seats.

"Hmm…let me find out." Mukuro said calmly, whipping out his own phone, and quickly punching in a number with his thumb.

"Can you put it on speaker? I wanna hear too." Tsuna said while curling his arms around folded legs in front of him in a vain attempt to comfort himself. Mukuro nodded, chuckling.

They heard the phone ringing.

After three rings, a familiarly monotone voice answered.

"_**City Morgue: you kill 'em, we chill 'em."**_ Came the sarcastic greeting.

Tsuna smiled awkwardly while the others raised an brow at the minty-haired illusionist's rather grim sense of humor.

Mukuro chuckled pleasantly.

"Caustic as always, aren't you? My useless student?"

A suddenly excited gasp was heard.

"_**Master? Is that you?" **_

"Mmhmm. Yes, it's me. I have a question. Will my useless pupil enlighten me as to one little thing?"

"_**Uh, sure. What is it?"**_

"When are you all landing? It's getting quite frosty here in the airport." Mukuro said as he pulled his dark trench coat tighter.

They heard Fran make a thinking type sound. Gokudera wondered how on Earth the younger illusionist could even hear himself talk over the all of the noise in the background.

"_**Hold on, let me ask."**_ The Varia illusionist said. They heard the other mist bearer shout across the plane.

"_**Sempaaaaaaaaaiii! Could you stop your painful singing for a minute? I have a question."**_

They heard someone make a noise like they were greatly insulted. An unfortunately recognizable voice was barely heard in the background.

"_**What toad? Can't you see the prince was jamming?"**_

"_**Yeah, I noticed. Someone had to stop you before you shatter the engines with your wailing." **_

Yamamoto snorted into his hand.

"Damn, that was harsh." Mukuro smirked proudly.

"Kufufufu~"

They heard the sound of a knife whizzing through the air before evidently embedding itself in something. The sound was followed by an unenthusiastic "ow."

"_**Weapons aren't allowed on the plane, fallen prince-sempai. How did you get them on board?"**_

"_**Ushishishi~! The prince has his ways…"**_

Gokudera sneered cynically.

_Yeah, he probably stashed them in his ass._ He thought crudely.

"_**When did the pilot say we were landing?"**_

"_**I don't know, stupid ass kohai. Like in fifteen minutes or something."**_

"_**Oh, okay. About fifteen minutes, Master."**_ The younger illusionist said placidly.

"Oh, alright then, I suppose we can wait a bit longer. See you all then. Ciao." Mukuro sighed as he hung up with his pupil, shrugging at the rest of them.

Tsuna tightened his grip on his legs. He wasn't sure his nerves could hold out for another fifteen minutes.

Well hold out they did. Sure enough, fifteen minutes turned out to be more like thirty-something minutes, and by then, Tsuna and his posse were so individually emotional that they were all fidgeting a bit in their seats.

The intercom suddenly came on, announcing the arrival of a private flight. They knew that had to be the Varia, since The Vongola Famiglia could never be so cheap (or stupid, for that matter) as to allow their top assassins to fly with the general public. So they were shipped over on a private jet.

Yamamoto jumped out of his seat animatedly.

"That's them! Come on guys!" The rain swordsman shouted as he raced to the entrance of the terminal eagerly. Mukuro followed behind him, albeit at a much more sedated pace. Gokudera and Tsuna remained behind.

"Come on boss, let's just get this over with. It'll be alright." He said, again squeezing the russet-haired teen's taut shoulder reassuringly. Tsuna nodded, unfolding himself from the seat, willing himself to grow some balls.

In his mind however, Gokudera scowled.

_I'm the one who really has to worry. I wonder if they happen to sell chastity belts here anywhere… _the silverette thought as he and the suddenly meek looking teen next to him walked over to the entrance to the terminal, where the first members of the elite hitman squad had made their appearances.

"Squalo! It's so awesome to see you again! Welcome back to Japan!" Yamamoto shouted jovially as he hugged the silver-haired swordsman tightly. Very tightly. Squalo, of course, was quick to snap at the plucky teen.

"VOOOIIII! Get the hell off of me! I swear goddammit, if you start humping me, I will cut your fucking head off!" He shouted angrily. Yamamoto just laughed off the older man's threats. In the corner, Fran and Mukuro were talking quietly.

"Yo." The apathetic mist guardian said to the two as Tsuna and Gokudera stopped nearby. They waved back politely.

A few minutes later, Levi. A. Than. and Lussuria both came traipsing through the gate. Levi, of course, looked pissed about something, and Lussuria looked more flamboyant than usual. He waved enthusiastically at the slightly creeped- out teens.

"Oh~! Hello young Vongola! Long time no see! Thank you for having us over for the holidays!" The gaudy man said joyously as he looked around, presumably for Ryohei. When the extreme sun guardian was not found, he pouted.

"Where's Ryohei?" He asked Tsuna, who awkwardly shrugged his shoulders.

"Uh…at home, I guess." He said, scratching his cheek anxiously. Lussuria 'hmphed' and wandered off, still pouting.

Tsuna felt his knees buckling. The only ones left were…

Not even a minute later, Xanxus came stomping off of the plane, looking quite sour (as usual). His scarlet eyes zeroed in right on Tsuna.

The young man gulped.

Xanxus strode over to him until the two were face to face. Or rather, face –to- neck, as Xanxus still towered over Tsuna by several inches, even though the Decimo had grown a lot over the years.

The older man pursed his lips.

"Trash." He nodded once in acknowledgment. Tsuna waved back meekly.

"H-hi Xanxus. How was your f-flight?" he asked, trying to start some sort of conversation. The grumpy Varia boss glared at him.

"Shitty."

"Oh…well, I'm..Uh, sorry to hear that." Tsuna scratched his head, embarrassed. To his surprise however, the man actually said something else.

"It **would** have been fine if we didn't have fucking Celine Dion over there wailing like a goddamn dying animal through the whole flight." He said acerbically, jabbing his finger in the direction of the gates, where the last two members of the squad were leisurely strolling out. Belphegor carried his bag and Mammon's, the little baby inspecting some form, muttering about something being way over-priced. He noticed that the prince was wrapping a pair of neon-pink headphones around an equally pink iPod.

Tsuna scratched his head, grimacing.

"Do you have any booze at your place?"

Tsuna started.

"B-booze? You mean like alcohol?" The Varia boss nodded impatiently.

"Um… Yeah, we do. I think there's a bottle of Tequila-"

"Good. That's all I needed to hear." The older man said dismissively as he walked past Tsuna, pinching the bridge of his nose and muttering something along the lines of 'I'm gonna need it' as he went.

Tsuna followed after the intimidating commander, looking like he was just about ready to hang himself.

Meanwhile…

Gokudera stood waiting away from everyone else, his hands buried offhandedly in the pockets of his hooded sweater. He grimly watched his dear Jyuudaime awkwardly converse with the ill-tempered Varia boss. He felt so useless.

Gokudera froze immediately upon feeling two sinewy arms wrap themselves around his lithe torso.

"Ushishi~! Hey there…" a whispery voice purred in his ear. The face of the crass blonde emerged in his peripheral version not but a second later, that ever-present Cheshire cat smile glued to his pale face.

"Long time no see, Hayato-kun… you're looking as molestable as ever." The prince said, tightening his hold on Gokudera in a deceptively friendly hug. Gokudera growled.

"Get off me you knife-bastard! I thought I told you to never touch me again!" He shouted as he elbowed the older man in sharply in the gut. The arms around his waist loosened, and he took that opportunity to put a good amount of distance between him and the raunchy prince.

Belphegor pouted, jutting out his plump bottom lip for effect.

"Aww...what's the matter? You didn't miss the prince? Not even a little?" He prodded.

Gokudera sneered, glaring pointedly away from his storm counterpart.

"Tch…fuck no."

Belphegor chuckled.

"Shishi~! Well, the prince certainly missed you. And I was so excited that we get to spend some time together this Christmas." He said in that liltingly slithery voice of his, smiling deviously.

"I ain't spending any kind of time with you. Fucking weirdo." Gokudera spat acidically, before attempting to stomp away after the others, who had started making their way towards the exit.

The silverette tensed visibly as the prince once again wrapped him in his vulgar embrace, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Oh, I sincerely hope for some fucking, Hayato-kun. We have the whole weekend. Ushishi~! Come on, let the prince take care of you…" Belphegor trailed off as he released Gokudera from his grip, but not before planting a rather… intimate, kiss on the younger man's neck.

"Bel. Leave him alone and come on. Everyone's leaving without us. I'm not paying for a taxi." Mammon cut in rudely, still hovering nearby. The still grinning prince waved him off casually, flashing one more enticing smile at the now thoroughly freaked out Gokudera before jogging after the little mist arcobaleno.

Gokudera slapped an already exhausted hand over his face.

_And the weekend is only just beginning. Tch, 'Happy Holidays' my ass._

* * *

Well, there was the new and improved Chapter 1! Read and Review please! Kthanx.

-Sushi*Bomb


	2. Of Irritating Limo Rides

A/N:Here you are! Chapter 2 of Define 'Happy Holidays' revamped and ready my precious readers!

Thanks to everyone who read/reviewed/faved! Hope you enjoy the new chapter =)

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Carry-on.

* * *

Of Irritating Limo Rides and Relatively Normal Behavior

* * *

After waiting for a few minutes outside of the airport terminal, the sleek black limousine that had arrived in front of Tsuna's home that morning (courtesy of the Ninth) pulled up in front of the group of young men. The old chauffeur quickly set to work packing the meager pile of luggage brought by the team of unruly assassins in the spacious trunk.

At the same time, they all began to pile one by one into the luxurious vehicle. Irritable 'move over's and 'sorry's were heard several times, until finally Gokudera remained outside the car.

The silver-haired young man groaned.

He was **not** looking forward to being packed like a sardine in the now way-too-tiny limousine. Especially with a bunch of mentally unstable, bloodthirsty, and worst of all, **excessively horny** hitmen. By all of which he meant Belphegor, of course.

The moody storm guardian clambered into the limo slowly, looking around for an empty spot. It was at this moment that he really wished he had gotten in first, as he realized he had no seat. Of course, that wasn't counting the spot next to the aforementioned hitman, who was patting the vacant seat on his left suggestively.

"You can sit next to me, Hayato-kun! Ushishi~! We can get to know each other a little better…" the perverted prince trailed off, flicking out his tongue lecherously.

Gokudera rolled his eyes at the blonde's shamelessness, shivering involuntarily.

_Like hell! I'd rather saw my balls off with a spoon. _He thought crankily to himself as he quickly scanned the rest of the cabin, before coming to an extremely unsettling conclusion. There was literally nowhere else for him to park his ass _other_ than next to the tiara-donning maniac. Gokudera was nearly one-hundred percent sure that the prince had made it so that he would have no other options.

Sneaky bastard.

The silver-haired storm guardian felt like he could cry. He apparently had no choice but to sit next to that knife-chucking hornball. For almost two hours.

Fuck.

Gokudera sighed in defeat as he begrudgingly planted himself in the seat next to the flirtatious blonde with a huff. If this was any indication of how the whole weekend would go, Gokudera decided he would get out at the next intersection and demand the driver run him the hell over.

And thus began the traumatic one hour and fifty –three minute drive back into Namimori.

Not even a half an hour later…

"VOOOOOIIIII! Move the hell over you idiot, it's cramped as shit in here!"

"Okay Squalo!"

_Scoot Scoot_

"Is that better?"

"No! It fucking isn't! I meant get away! Not closer!"

"I WANNA FUCK YOU LIKE AN ANIMAAAAAL~!"

"Shut the hell up you bastard!"

"I WANNA FEEL YOU FROM THE INSIIIIIDE~!"

"Hey shut the hell up already dammit! We heard enough on the plane!"

"I dedicate this song to Hayato-kun! Shishi~!"

"Don't associate me with such perverted garbage! I'll blow you to hell!"

"Ushishishi~! Oh really? Do you spit or swallow?"

_Squeeze._

"Giegneiongeqiupgnw! Get your hand off of that!"

"Wow, Gokudera-kun, I can't believe you walked into that all on your own."

"Yeah, Jyuudaime, me neither."

"Ushishi~! The prince is just livening up this boring trip with his superior vocal prowess!"

"Those are some awfully big words, sempai. Careful, you might hurt yourself."

STAB.

"Kufufu~ I agree, my eardrums are bleeding rather profusely."

"I need a drink…"

"You got a problem with my singing, Pineapple bitch?"

"Yes, Belphe-_whore_, as a matter of fact, I do have an issue with that screeching mating call you try to pass off as your singing voice."

"Nice one, master."

STAB.

"Ushishi~ Who's side are you on Froggy?"

"Obviously not yours, blondie."

"Fuck off pincushion! The prince didn't ask for your useless input!"

Xanxus growled lowly as he whipped out one of his signature pistols from out of his trench coat. He immediately blasted a hole in the roof of the car, effectively gaining everyone's attention.

"The next person that opens his piss-hole is getting a bullet right between the eyes. Got it, scum?" the dark-haired Varia commander snarled out.

Everyone nodded rapidly.

Xanxus folded his arms across his chest, looking relatively satisfied with the now deafening silence, and leaned back against the door. His scarlet eyes drifted closed, and he promptly fell asleep. Tsuna was amazed that the Varia boss could pass out so quickly. Everyone else seemed to take that as their queue, and soon, many of the others settled back for a short nap as well.

Tsuna sighed as he leaned his head against the cushion. He was seated at the head of the limo, Xanxus on his left, and Yamamoto on his right. The brunette glanced over at his athletic friend, who was smashing poor Squalo against the opposite door. Despite that, it seemed the two had fallen into a rather peaceful sleep.

The Vongola boss smiled.

It had been nearly two years since they had last seen the Varia, when they had spent a few days in Italy with the Ninth. Even then, their interactions had been brief, as they were staying in Vongola Nono's sprawling Naples estate, rather than at the Varia mansion, which was located over an hour south of the main Vongola estate.

_They've grown a lot too._ He thought, chuckling to himself. Tsuna glanced to his left, were Xanxus was resting, his thick jacket folded up against the window like a makeshift pillow. His hair had grown out a bit, no longer in the buzz cut Xanxus wore when they first met and the light fringe around his hairline had grown into rather lengthy bangs. It suited him much better.

_He looks a lot slimmer than before too._ The russet haired boss thought. Must be the constant stress of being the leader of a bunch of crazy killers.

But even then, Tsuna realized, he looked much more relaxed than before. He was a bit more sociable too. If it had been the Xanxus from six years ago, this little event of theirs probably wouldn't even be occurring in the first place. Not to mention that if it had, he would have just blown them all to smithereens, rather than offer any kind of warning first.

It seemed that being rejected as the next Vongola boss was ultimately the best thing that could have happened to Xanxus.

From the dark-haired man, Tsuna turned to Squalo, the Varia's second in command. His insanely long hair had of course grown much over the years, now reaching well past his buttocks and ending mid-thigh. His straight bangs had also grown out a bit, and the swordsman wore the fringe more to one side of his face, adding a rather attractive layering effect to his hair.

The moody rain guardian had his cheek pressed against Yamamoto's head, the younger of the two resting his own tanned cheek against the older man's shoulder. They were both snoring lightly.

For all of his incessant bitching and screaming, it was obvious that the rain swordsman had become rather fond of Yamamoto over the years, treating him much like an older brother who had been away to college would treat his annoying little brother when he comes home for vacation. Tsuna knew Yamamoto saw Squalo the same way. As a mentor, a friend and a brother.

It was sweet.

From Squalo, he glanced to Lussuria, who was parked opposite Squalo, on the stretch part of the seats. The gaudy martial artist hadn't changed much really, other than his hair, which was now tri-colored and part of it spiked up in a Mohawk. He knew that in some weird way, Lussuria adored Ryohei. It was not a relationship Tsuna would even bother to try and understand. It was an amiable one, and that was all that mattered.

Levi, well…he didn't really know much about him, since no one seemed to fuss over him too much. It appeared the rest of the Varia were rather distant from the tall thunder guardian.

Tsuna shrugged, scratching his cheek absently and frowning a bit. It seemed that was where the peace between their two groups ended. The brunette shifted his honey gaze to the most charismatic of the hitman squad, one Prince Belphegor. The blonde knife-wielder had once been the youngest of the group, but over time, he had certainly grown from an awkward looking boy into a svelte, confident adult. His golden-blonde hair had grown a bit, starting to flare out at the ends.

Even though he matured physically, mentally, he was still just as childish, unhinged, and self- centered as when they first met. The Vongola boss knew already that the ever-grinning prince would be at the root of many of the altercations that would inevitably take place this weekend. Not to mention his blatant sexual interest in Gokudera, which had arisen in the midst of the Ring Battles, was a tad unsettling.

Tsuna had thought that Lussuria was the only member of the Varia with homosexual orientations, but evidently the prince shared the Muay Thai master's rather unconventional views on love and sexuality.

Poor Gokudera.

It wasn't that the silverette was homophobic, or that blonde was ugly or anything. On the contrary, he was easily one of the most attractive of the elite squad, despite having half of his face constantly veiled by lengthy bangs. It was just that he was persistent. Very, very, persistent. Not to mention insatiably horny. It seemed that the blonde had only three things constantly on his mind: Sex, killing, and being a pain in the ass. And not necessarily in that order.

Tsuna assumed that the prince was used to getting anything he wanted, and that included people. Apparently, he had never been rejected. The prince's outrageous personality, coupled with the oppositional and conservative demeanor of Gokudera, who always did things his own way, and had a rather foul attitude towards his storm counterpart to boot. It was a match made in the deepest circles of Hell. Tsuna sincerely hoped that the blonde storm guardian would one day get the hint that Gokudera had literally zero interest in what he was offering.

The prince, who was half-awake, readjusted the precariously balanced tiara on his head before leaning back against the cushion, trying to get comfortable. All the while glaring daggers at Mukuro, who had passed out a few minutes prior.

Tsuna wondered absently if the two disliked each other. It was pretty likely, if the catty comments and maliciously pleasant looking smiles the two shared upon realizing the other's presence back at the terminal gate were any sort of indication. He'd have to ask Fran about it later.

Tsuna looked away from the tiara-wearing royal to the little baby curled up in his lap. Mammon was still a mystery to him. All he knew about the hooded figure was that he was an arcobaleno like Reborn; the arcobaleno of Mist to be exact and before then, he had been one of the most powerful psychics on Earth. Reborn had told him that the greedy mist guardian was trying to break the curse, and apparently loved money. A lot.

Tsuna himself had noticed over the years that the baby was never far from the blonde whose lap he was currently sleeping in. The odd friendship the two seemed to share was kind of endearing, in a weird way.

_Speaking of mist…_ Tsuna thought as he turned to newest member of the elite assassination squad. He had met Fran briefly in the future, and from what he knew about the mint haired mist guardian, who was only about a year or two his senior, Fran was a particularly gifted illusionist said to be on par with Mukuro and Viper themselves. Which wasn't really surprising, considering he was Mukuro's protégé and all.

But for all of his supposed ability, it seemed that he was vastly underrated and mistreated by the other members of his group. Especially by Belphegor, who had apparently gotten stuck looking after the rookie when he first joined. Tsuna found himself chuckling at the nothing if not hilarious dynamic between the two. The snobby prince and his sarcastic sidekick. He loved the ironic personality of the mist user, who had become infamous for his razor-sharp tongue, and rather macabre sense of humor, despite his deceptively placid mannerisms and monotone voice.

The older man was a prodigy in his own right, having been the only one Tsuna was aware of that had ever gotten a one up on the blonde prince, who was also known for his almost supernaturally brilliant mind. Tsuna remembered several incidents back in the future when he literally had to stick his fist in his mouth to avoid laughing out loud after the green-haired youth had snarkily back-sassed and antagonized the prince, and even Mukuro himself on one occasion, leaving them sputtering rather unattractively, trying to quickly gather their wits. All in that calm, breezy tone.

He had quickly become one of Tsuna's favorites among the Varia.

Finally, Tsuna's eyes rested on Mukuro himself. Since the dark-haired illusionist still denied his role in their little rag-tag family, they didn't see him often, aside from the occasional briefings and gatherings between their own family and others. Tsuna knew that in his own way, Mukuro was eternally grateful to him for getting him out of Vendicare, but the man had such a deep hatred for the mafia that Tsuna was sure this one act of kindness would not be enough to sway him.

Still, it was nice to see the Kokuyo gang leader once in a while. It was also quite endearing to see the obvious fondness he had for his pupil. With his arm casually draped along the younger illusionist's shoulders, Mukuro rested as well, with his spiky, navy head reclined languidly against the headrest of the seat. Fran was snuggled against him, his head tucked rather intimately in the crook of Mukuro's pale neck.

Whatever relationship the two shared, it was quite obvious that it was _much more_ than just master and apprentice. Tsuna decided he'd rather be left in the dark as to_ those _specific details.

Tsuna wriggled into the luxuriously plush leather of the seat, folding up his legs Indian-style.

_Might as well get some sleep too. I'm gonna need it_. He thought, yawning before drifting off.

* * *

Tsuna sighed peacefully as the scalding heat of the water blasting from the shower head saturated his thick hair and skin, immediately relieving the tension he felt all over his body. The brunette leaned sleepily against the shower wall, his eyes drifting closed lethargically as he basked in the relaxing heat of the steam.

It had been well past midnight when the limousine deposited the members of the Vongola and the Varia in front of the quaint looking Sawada residence.

The group of them had filed quickly and quietly into the large house, only to be greeted warmly by Tsuna's mother at the door. That had been the first of many potential heart attacks the young Vongola boss knew he would be having that weekend.

He was utterly terrified at the thought of the six men openly snubbing the spirited woman and stomping around with their snow-covered boots and swearing like sailors, as they usually did. Or worse, he thought of them being inappropriate to his poor, youthful looking mother, who had often been mistaken for his older sister.

But surprisingly, the members of the Varia greeted the vivacious housewife with a refined politeness that Tsuna would have openly laughed at the very thought of, had he not seen it himself. After getting over the initial shock, however, the brunette really thought about it, and he realized that the members of the assassination squad knew they were representing not only the Varia, but the Italian side of the Vongola Famiglia as well. They clearly gave something of a damn about making a decent impression and therefore had each lightly kissed the perky brunette woman on both cheeks, as was typical of Italian greetings, and respectfully thanked her for allowing them to invade her home for the weekend.

The petite housewife had blushed heatedly, giggling like a school girl at the group of 'strapping gentlemen,' her husband's boss had sent her for the holiday weekend. She had, unsurprisingly, been especially beside herself when she saw Mammon, immediately scooping up the little mist arcobaleno in her motherly arms, overjoyed that Reborn had a new baby friend to play with. And the avaricious infant didn't even charge her a scooping fee.

Tsuna and his friends had been nothing if not thoroughly shocked, to say the least. Apparently, the normally outlandish and unruly group of killers had the ability and the sense to act like civilized, cultured human beings when it was expected of them. Frankly, it was a little scary to see the lot of them carrying on like a relatively normal group of people.

The russet-haired youth yawned absently as he scrubbed himself. Thankfully, it seemed that the members of the killer squadron where more than a little jet-lagged, each of them yawning and stretching several times during that initial hour when they were all getting settled into the guestrooms downstairs. Most of them had passed out immediately.

Not that Tsuna could blame them of course. They may have been the most ruthless bunch of assassins in the mafia, but they were still human, and thus succumbed to fatigue just like everyone else. And it had been a** long** flight, if Xanxus' less than pleasant reaction at Tsuna's asking about it was any clue.

Of course, Belphegor could not and would not rest until Gokudera gave him a kiss goodnight, and promptly pecked the Vongola storm guardian right on the lips before hastily retreating, chuckling all the way back to the room he was sharing with Fran and Mammon.

Needless to say, Tsuna was grateful that Yamamoto had the instinctive reflexes that he did. The athlete swiftly pinched out the lit tips of the several dozen sticks of dynamite Gokudera had whipped out of his hammer space and was intent on ramming into certain places on the blonde prince's anatomy, namely his mouth and his ass.

Tsuna preferred his living room **not** blown up, thank you very much.

After literally diffusing that potentially catastrophic situation, Yamamoto regrettably had to head home, as his father had a large group of clients coming into the restaurant tomorrow and would need his son and assistant to be there to help. Shortly after the dark-haired swordsman took his leave, Mukuro decided it was time to return to Kokuyo Land, as he was certain Ken would probably have a stroke if he was gone any longer. But not before quickly dragging Fran outside for a 'private conversation,' which Tsuna inherently understood to mean a rough, passionate quickie behind his shed.

Gokudera was the last to leave. The silverette lamentably realized that he had not brought any sleeping essentials, i.e. his nightclothes, pillow and futon, or even his toothbrush for that matter. Sadly, the storm guardian lived over half an hour's walk away from his beloved Jyuudaime's home, in a cozy apartment complex about fifteen minutes from their university.

Despite knowing that Gokudera could take care of himself, Tsuna didn't want his friend walking around at such odd hours of the night, and all but begged the over-zealous Gokudera to stay home for the night. After much insistence, the bomb-wielder relented, promising he would return at the first light of dawn to keep his dear Jyuudaime company.

So in the end, it was just Tsuna, his mother, his immediate residents, and the Varia. So much for not being left alone with a bunch of psychos.

After rinsing off, the brunette mafia boss stepped gingerly out of the shower while wrapping his fluffy towel around his slim hips and stepped into his bedroom. As he rummaged through his drawer for a light t-shirt and a clean pair of boxers, he noticed the reflection in his mirror. He saw Reborn lying in his little hammock thing, laying foot-to-foot with Mammon, who was curled up across from him. The two appeared to have fallen asleep, if the little expanding and contracting snot bubbles he had come to relate solely with those of the Arcobaleno were of any indication.

_Awwww._ Tsuna found himself thinking as he trekked back to the bathroom to change into his sleeping attire. If either of the cursed infants heard that, he'd surely be a corpse.

The Vongola Decimo chuckled lightly to himself as he quickly slipped into his sleeping clothes, and ran down the stairs hopping two steps at a time, heading into the kitchen for a midnight snack. He was mildly surprised to see Fran sitting serenely in one of the seats, a plate of saltine crackers in front of him.

"Yo." Was the illusionist's customary greeting as Tsuna waved back languidly. The younger youth ventured to the refrigerator for a glass of milk before joining the Varia rookie at the table.

"It's nice to see you again, Fran-san. How's it going?" The young Vongola began as he settled into the empty seat across from Fran. The older man shrugged nonchalantly.

"It's...going, I guess. My ears are still ringing from being stuck on that plane for six hours."

Tsuna tilted his head to one side in thought.

"Wow, is Bel-san that bad of a singer? Xanxus was pretty pissed earlier too."

"Nah, idiot-sempai's actually got a pretty nice voice. He just likes to be obnoxiously loud, so I tell him he's terrible so he'll shut up." Fran said, half-heartedly twirling a strand of his minty hair around a long finger. Tsuna belatedly noticed that the illusionist wasn't wearing that awful frog hat for once, instead donning a white skully hat with the Varia logo imprinted on the side.

_No wonder he seems to be in higher spirits. That thing must have weighed a ton._ Tsuna thought.

"So, how was your 'talk' with Mukuro?" The Vongola boss asked, deciding to change the subject. Fran smiled, looking quite sated.

"It was a_ most_ satisfying and much needed discussion." The minty-haired illusionist responded before nipping off the corner of a cracker. Tsuna reached over and snagged one of the squares, munching on it peacefully, trying to hide the slight blush on his cheeks at the unmistakable implications of Fran's statement.

If he had had any questions or doubts before, they were certainly answered **now**. Speaking of which...

"That reminds me," Tsuna began, "What's the deal with Mukuro-san and Bel-san? Do they not like each other or something?"

Fran hid his uncharacteristically Bel-like smile behind a lithe hand. Tsuna decided that Fran should definitely smile more often.

"No they don't. As a matter of fact, they can't stand each other."

Tsuna's eyebrows disappeared beneath his unruly bangs.

"Really? How come?"

Fran shrugged as he reached for another cracker.

"Fallen-prince sempai hates Master because Master can't seem to ever get his name right. Between you and me though, Mukuro-sama always says sempai's name wrong on purpose. Plus, he always calls him a whore. Master hates Bel-sempai because the stupid prince said something perverted about Chrome. That's basically it."

_Go figure._ Tsuna thought.

"Those seem like really silly reasons to hate each other, don't they?"

"Yeah I guess so, but if it wasn't those reasons, it'd be something else. Bel-sempai and Mukuro-sama are a lot alike you know. And people who are that alike usually don't get along anyway. I guess that's why even when they first met, they pretty much instantly disliked each other. "

The sky guardian nodded his russet-head in understanding, sighing. He was right to assume that many of the squabbles that were sure to occur this weekend would be the result of those two bickering. Fran began chuckling quietly.

"Don't worry. All they do is argue, so they won't blow your house or anything. Trust me, watching the two of them go at it is one of life's simple joys." At that, Tsuna laughed openly, feeling more than relieved to hear that his house would remain intact.

"So, what's Christmas like over in Italy, Fran-san?" He asked the older man. Fran made a pained noise.

"Just like everywhere else in the world. It's cold as hell, and everyone goes insane." He said rolling his emerald orbs in annoyance.

"What about you guys?"

Fran's lip curled upward as he pondered the question.

"Well...we don't give gifts or anything, but basically, Lussuria-san bakes an assload of sweets and decorates the whole mansion, Bel-sempai runs around holding mistletoe and mouth-rapes everyone, we eat a big dinner together, and then everyone gets trashed and passes out in extremely random and/or inconvenient places around the mansion, and in the morning I walk around and write 'cock' on everyone's forehead with a sharpie. That's a Varia Christmas in a nutshell." He said, flashing Tsuna a victory sign.

"Oh how..nice." Tsuna said, smiling awkwardly. Fran yawned, stretching out indolently before standing up.

"I'm heading to bed now. Want these?" Fran motioned to the leftover crackers on the plate. Tsuna nodded, shrugging.

"Goodnight, Vongola-san, see you in the morning." The older of the two waved in parting before casually strolling out of the kitchen. Tsuna bid him goodnight as well as he pulled the leftover plate of crackers to his side of the table.

Tsuna sighed, feelings of dread suddenly returning tenfold. He had been so nervous about the Varia coming to Japan for the weekend that he had forgotten to buy gifts. Luckily, there was still one day left, so he could just go early tomorrow before the malls got to hectic. He wondered what the members of the Varia would want for Christmas.

_It's not like a bunch assassins will appreciate regular things...what the hell am I gonna do?_ He thought to himself, stomach knotting painfully with anxiety. Each member of the elite squad was singularly unique, with eccentric tastes. What could he possibly offer them? Hopefully, Fran be able to enlighten him tomorrow. Even then, he remembered the minuscule pile of carry-on luggage. It didn't look like they had brought anything for anyone either.

_Well, Fran did say they didn't usually give each other gifts_. Tsuna thought, shrugging to himself. He was certain that to the Varia, presents weren't a huge deal. They seemed like a bunch who were above the frivolity and hassle of gift-giving. But nonetheless...

The young Decimo leaned back tiredly, balancing on two of the chair's four legs and relishing the silence throughout the house. The calm before the storm.

In any case, the next few days were sure to be anything but calm. Tsuna prayed dearly that this weekend went by relatively smoothly. Or as smoothly as it could with the insane company he kept.

It wasn't too much to ask...right?

Tsuba grimaced, absently biting a cracker.

What was he thinking. Of course it was.

* * *

So there you go, Chapter 2. You know, I'm really glad I decided to re-do this story. I really wanted to lengthen the conversation between Fran and Tsuna, because in my opinion, it was too brief, and I personally love the dynamic I've set up between them. It's fun. =) Anyway, I'm working on Chapter 3 and it should be up either later tonight or tomorrow. Chapter 4 is in progress, and should be up in a couple of days. Hopefully. *Awkward smile*

Until then, read and review! Tell me what you think yo~!


	3. The Power of Kaasan and Lambo Burgers

A/N: Chapter 3! Chapter 3! Sushi*Bomb has Chapter 3! Hey guys, welcome back to the new and improved Define 'Happy Holidays.' I don't really have anything interesting to say today soooo...

On to my reviewers:

Thanks to everyone who answered my question!I am marginally less retarded now!

Reidluver: Your explanation was so detailed that there's no way I can't get it now lol Thank you!

ezcap1st: It doesn't, don't worry! And I was referring to the humor, not the whole story! I'm glad you approve!

CarlileLovesAnime: Thanks! Hope you like the next chappy!

DarkeFlame: Thanks! Me too! I think Fran is one of the funniest characters in KHR. And I'm experimenting with the Bel x Gokudera pairing. I think you're** really** going to enjoy this chapter. Hehehe…

Okay, now to the story. So like I just said, I'm toying with the B59 pairing (Oooh! Look at S*B applying her new-found knowledge like a boss! I know, shut up lol)

However, it won't be the main focus. I want this to be a humor/ family/romance fic. With that said, there will be some OOC moments in here, but it's still crack-ish, so it's fine! So without further ado, here's chapter 3. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. I'd have a new laptop already if I did.

* * *

The power of Kaa-san and Lambo-burgers

* * *

Tsuna's face scrunched in annoyance as the Friday morning sun shone its unholy light directly through his window, which for some reason was wide open, and onto his face. Hazel eyes slowly cracked open, squinting as his eyes got used to the sudden brightness. Once they were adjusted, the Vongola tenth sat up in bed, stretching his arms over his head before crawling out of bed sleepily.

He rubbed the crust from his still half-lidded eyes as he wandered toward the door at the opposite end of his bedroom, absently noticing that Reborn's hammock was empty.

_Must be downstairs_. He thought to himself as he stumbled drowsily out the door and down the stairs. The brunette slipped a hand up his shirt to scratch his flat stomach, rounding the corner that led into the kitchen. He heard laughter and loud chatter coming from the room.

_I wonder what's going in there_. He thought as he entered the room, sniffing the air, and froze. The young Vongola boss suddenly decided then that he must have still been asleep. There was simply no other explanation for what he was seeing right now.

He pinched himself.

"Ow!" he hissed as he roughly tweaked the taut flesh of his forearm. Nope, he definitely wasn't dreaming. So the Varia were really in his kitchen, at eight in the morning, talking and laughing with his mom like they'd lived there all their lives?

What?

Well, to be specific, only Squalo, Lussuria, and Mammon were awake so far, but that was waaaaay beside the point.

"Oh good morning Tsu-kun!Did you sleep well?" His mother casually greeted him as she milled about, alternating between stirring some kind of …well something in a big pot, chopping vegetables on the opposite counter, and setting another pot of coffee to brew in the coffee machine.

Tsuna nodded, hesitantly sliding into one of the empty seats at the table, where Reborn was eating his usual omelet, rice and a steaming cup of espresso. Tsuna noticed a second stack of phone-books next to Reborn's seat on which Mammon was perched rather cutely, calmly sipping his bowl of miso soup.

"Oi, Dame-Tsuna." Reborn said in greeting, while Mammon just nodded once in acknowledgment.

"Mama, do you have any strawberry milk?" The mist arcobaleno asked as he set down the now empty bowl. Nana nodded, smiling widely at the adorably soft but deadpanned tone of the baby's voice as she rummaged about in the fridge before pulling out a small carton and setting it down in front of the infant. Tsuna was mildly shocked at the almost silent 'thank you' that escaped the baby's lips.

And that wasn't even the weirdest thing.

Stranger still, Squalo, who was standing at the stove, was offhandedly flipping eggs with his good hand and watching the news on the mini TV in the corner. It was probably Squalo and Lussuria's laughter, Tsuna realized, that he had heard back out in the hallway. The two hitmen and his mother were talking about something that happened on the news.

"Would you like more coffee, Squ-kun?" She asked perkily. The swordsman nodded, languidly sliding his empty mug down the counter over to the perky housewife. The rain guardian was clad in a long-sleeved undershirt and black sweats, and his hair was tied up in a high ponytail, with a few strands randomly poking out. He looked like he had slept quite well. Tsuna also noticed the smart-looking thin framed glasses the rain swordsman was wearing. Did he normally wear contacts?

"Can you believe the shit that's going on over there?" The swordsman said irately, pointing at the TV. Nana shook her head in disappointment. Strangely, she didn't even bat an eyelash at Squalo's foul language.

"I hope they resolve it soon…" She said, a worried hand cradling her youthful face. Squalo scowled.

"VOOOIII! I'm telling you it's those damn Americans! If they would just lay off, the situation'll fix itself! But they always feel like they have to butt-in and take control! Tch…" Squalo shouted, waving the wooden spatula in his hand around indignantly.

As the two exchanged thoughts on whatever crisis they were discussing on the TV, Tsuna wondered absently if he was in an episode of the Twilight Zone. Reborn took that opportunity to steal his omelet.

"Reborn!"

"It's eat or be eaten in the mafia, Dame-Tsuna."

The young Vongola boss groaned in defeat, and dejectedly nibbled at his rice. He watched the last member of the assassination squad, who was also milling about the kitchen and stopping every once in a while to stir whatever his mom was cooking in that giant pot. The gaudy martial artist donned a frilly-apron over his red muscle shirt and grey sweat pants. Complete with puppy-covered oven mitts. He was holding a pan of something, though Tsuna didn't really care to ask what at the moment. He'd find out later anyway.

"Good morning, Vongola-kun~!" Lussuria greeted him merrily.

"H-hi, Lussuria-san." Tsuna said, waving awkwardly.

It seemed that Lussuria was aiding in the holiday cooking. Tsuna noted the light on in the oven.

"Mom, is that a turkey in the oven?" He asked, getting up from his seat at the table to peak inside. Nana nodded, a large smile spreading on her face.

"It sure is Tsu-kun! I wanted to have a more western style Christmas dinner this year, so Lu-kun graciously went to the market this morning and bought a turkey for us! Doesn't it smell delicious?" She asked, clapping her hands together giddily.

Tsuna nodded, sniffing the air appreciatively.

"Yeah, I guess it does." He said, closing the oven door and walking back over to the table.

"Lu-kun, do you think this needs more salt?" His mom asked the flamboyant man, spooning out a bit of the soupy looking concoction in the pot and handing it out to him. Lussuria daintily sipped at it, savoring the taste. He put a pensive finger to his pursed lips.

"Hmm… no, but it needs a bit of…perhaps pepper? Do you have any, Mama~?" He asked after a few seconds. Nana nodded as she opened up her spice cabinet and pulled out a small container and handed it to the Muay Thai fighter. The man dashed a bit of the black spice into the pot and stirred it in. He took another sip, contemplating it for a second or two, before breaking out into a large smile.

"Now it's perfect~! Ohoho!" He screamed giddily while spooning a bit for Nana to sample it too. She also smiled after sipping it.

"This soup is delicious Lu-kun!"She said, just as excitedly as the two laughed like old friends over the steaming pot.

_This is too weird._ Tsuna thought, wide-eyes staring unblinkingly at the two cooks._ But, on the other hand, it's kinda nice that they bonded with my mom so fast. It could have been the opposite. _

"Uh, Squalo-san, where's everyone else?" He asked meekly. Squalo turned from the stove to look at Tsuna, smirking lightly.

"Passed the fuck out, where else?" He said, glancing at the wall clock above the entrance to the kitchen.

"Hmm, Levi should be up soon. But don't even bother about Xanxus, Bel, and Fran. They sleep 'til like two o'clock in the afternoon." He said dismissively before turning back to his now burning omelet.

"Goddammit!" he shouted.

"S-s-sorry!" Tsuna said rapidly, as he jumped up from his seat to show Squalo where the trashcan was. Squalo just shrugged while he scraped the burnt mess off of the pan and into the plastic bin.

"Whatever, I'll make another one." He said, and quickly set to work frying up a new omelet.

_Phew._ Tsuna thought as he sat back down.

After completing his new omelet, the-silver haired assassin claimed a seat at the table. They all sat around in relatively comfortable silence, with the occasional conversation between Lussuria and his mother about some food item.

Tsuna smiled, still a bit puzzled to see members of the elite hitman squadron acting so…normal. He wondered what life was like for them back at their home base in Italy.

Did Lussuria cook all the time? The man certainly knew his way around a kitchen, so it was likely.

Was Squalo always this funny in the morning? Tsuna genuinely smiled in mirth as he watched his mother nearly collapse from laughter at Squalo's hilariously accurate impression of the stuffy, nasally news anchors.

Even Reborn and Mammon chuckled lightly. Tsuna found himself wondering about the two Arcobaleno's relationship. The Arcobaleno were a mysterious bunch, that much was certainly true. But from the quiet, thoughtful conversation (about money, naturally) the two were sharing at their end of the table, it seemed that Reborn and Mammon got along pretty well.

* * *

It was around ten something when the Sawada residence picked up its usual liveliness. Lambo raced into the kitchen, waving around I-pin's Fon doll and laughing hysterically. I-pin was not far behind him, demanding in her broken Japanese for him to give it back.

The two had grown a lot in the six years they had known each other. Lambo and I-pin had become almost inseparable, though most of the time they acted more like bitter enemies rather than the best of friends.

I-pin, now age eleven, was no longer the shy, partially blind, martial artist with the large forehead. Though her Japanese still needed a bit of work at times, she had quickly developed into quite the pretty little girl, her now lengthy black hair tied back in one long braid, just like her master's. I-pin had always been a bit of a tomboy, and thus was always getting into scuffles with Lambo and breaking her glasses. They had wisely invested in a pair of contact lenses for the Chinese assassin.

Also now age eleven, Lambo had long since shed his trademark 'cow -fro' and cow print footie-pajamas, and was starting to turn into the Lambo they had seen often thanks to the ten year bazooka. He had shot up pretty much over night, standing almost shoulder- to -shoulder with Fuuta.

Unfortunately, he had not yet cast off his obnoxious personality.

The little Bovino immediately latched himself onto Nana's hip. Or at least, what he thought was Nana's hip, as he was brilliantly running with his eyes closed.

"Mama! Mama! Lambo-san has arrived and wants omelets and rice!" The insufferable child shouted.

"Voiii! I ain't your mama, kid!" A deep male voice growled down at him. Lambo opened his eyes. Squalo stared down at him irately, before bending over and giving Lambo a rather painful looking noogie.

"NYAAHH!" The little assassin screamed, promptly detaching himself from the older man and scooting across the floor to flatten himself against the wall. I-pin took that as her chance to quickly snatch her doll back.

Bianchi and Fuuta strolled in a few minutes later.

"'Sup?" The scorpion nodded coolly at the three Varia members, who all nodded back, equally casual. Bianchi hadn't really changed much over the years. At twenty-three, she was still the smooth, lethal, Reborn-loving assassin she had been when she was younger. If anything, her infamous poison cooking had become more toxic over time. And she remained unaware of it completely.

Not to mention the sight of her face still gave Gokudera crippling stomach cramps.

Fuuta just waved casually. Now fourteen, Ranking Fuuta was growing into a charming young man, having quite a few admirers in his middle school. His rankings were still perfectly accurate. Just like Bianchi, his abilities had unconsciously increased over the past six years.

After realizing that there was no more space at the table, everyone moved out into the living room, plates in hand. The younger members of the household immediately commandeered the remote control, thus forcing the older group to watch awful Saturday morning cartoons.

Tsuna curled his legs under him before planting himself in his usual spot in the middle corner of the three part sofa set. Squalo took a seat next to Bianchi on the adjacent love-seat, as the two shared some small talk.

Tsuna's mother also joined them, opting to take a short break while Lussuria manned the kitchen. The young mother stretched out next to her son on the long couch while Mammon, who was still finishing his strawberry milk, floated out after everyone. With a girlish squeal, Nana plucked the infant right out of the air and settled the baby in her lap.

When Reborn hopped up on the couch, he too was planted in her lap, but on the other leg. Tsuna marveled at how fast his mother had taken a shine to the mysterious mist illusionist. Almost as fast as she had with Reborn. And by the way he snuggled against her, Mammon didn't seem to mind the attention one bit.

There was suddenly loud knocking on the door. Tsuna got up to answer the door, and was greeted with the smiling face of Yamamoto, and the worried face of his self-proclaimed right hand man, who quickly fell to his hands and knees, prostrate before his beloved boss.

"Jyuudaime! Please forgive me! I'm sorry I left you alone w-"

"Gokudera-kun-"

"-ith those psychos! I'm not fit to be your right-hand man! I'm the -"

"Gokudera-kun! I-"

"-worst person ever. I'm not fit for any-"

"GOKUDERA-KUN!"

Gokudera snapped out of his groveling frenzy as Tsuna swiftly slapped him across the face. The silverette calmly stood, rubbing his stinging cheek.

"S-sorry, Jyuudaime. Thank you for stopping me." He said gratefully. Tsuna smiled pitifully.

"It's okay Gokudera-kun, and Good Morning. You too, Yamamoto." He said cheerfully. Yamamoto gave him a 'thumbs up', reciprocating the greeting.

The Vongola boss ushered the two inside, poking his head before he closed the door. No Mukuro in sight.

_I'm sure he'll show up later._ Tsuna thought while quietly closing the door behind him, trying to ignore the noticeable increase in noise that permeated the house.

He strolled into the living room, where Gokudera was standing, looking more alert and paranoid than usual. Tsuna grimaced at the conspicuous stick of dynamite poking out of the storm guardian's shirt pocket.

He walked over to his shifty-eyed friend, placing a calming hand on the tense shoulder. He knew exactly what, or who, rather, the silverette was being so wary of.

"He's still sleeping Gokudera-kun. You can relax for a while." Tsuna said, smiling in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. Gokudera's shoulders visibly sagged in relief.

"Phew." He said, releasing the breath he had unconsciously been holding. Yamamoto slapped him on the back laughing lightly, ignoring the heated glare that immediately came his way. Upon catching sight of his mentor, the dark-haired man made a bee-line for the love-seat, quickly planting himself on the arm of the seat next to Squalo, who just nodded in acknowledgment.

Tsuna wondered if any of the Varia members actually said 'hello' to each other.

With nothing left to do for the time being, Tsuna decided it would be best to whip out his PlayStation 3™ to keep his guests occupied, and thus, from causing any damage to his house, as he knew they undoubtedly would. He quickly stuck Super Street Fighters IV™ into the disc drive, while configuring the wireless controllers.

"Who wants to go first?"

* * *

"Ooooh… looks like I win again, trash."

"VOOOOIIIIII!Best two outta three! I'm playing as Bison this time!"

"Whatever, I'll just hand you your ass again. Ryu fucks shit up."

It was around one in the afternoon, and everyone was still sitting around the big screen in Tsuna's living room. For the past few hours, they had been playing Street Fighters, and the atmosphere had gotten very competitive in the cozy room.

After winning a few rounds against Yamamoto, who was shockingly terrible at video games, Tsuna surrendered the controller to Bianchi. The scorpion proceeded to whoop some serious ass with Chun-Li. Yamamoto ultimately gave up in shame, handing the controller to Fuuta.

And so began the scorpion's hour long winning streak. Until Xanxus woke up. The moody Varia commander lazily strolled into the spacious room around twelve-thirty, bare-chested and clad in grey slacks. Tsuna noted how frail his skinny body appeared next to Xanxus, who looked like he could crush a diamond with his bicep.

"Good Morning, uh, Xanxus!" The russet haired boss said to the older man. To Tsuna's surprise, he just nodded back in acknowledgment.

_I guess that's how the Varia does it after all._ The Vongola tenth thought, smiling to himself. Xanxus stared at the TV with vague interest.

"Is that Street Fighter?"

...Which lead to the current scene. It seemed that next to killing, video games were the second most fun/important thing on the Varia's list.

"Ouch. Spanked again! Now that's Varia Quality!"

"Your mama was fuckin' Varia Quality last night, trash."

And from the way the two made hideously inappropriate comments about each other's mothers, argued and continually demanded rematches, it appeared that Squalo and Xanxus were the most competitive of them all.

In the time they had been planted in front of the TV set, Levi and Fran had woken up, and were currently amidst the throng of Mafiosi gathered in the Sawada living room. Naturally Levi was cheering for his beloved boss, who of course was ignoring him. Fran settled in next to Tsuna, waving lazily.

Tsuna's mother had long since rejoined Lussuria in the kitchen to finish cooking. It was definitely for the best, because the young Vongola boss was sure his mother would have fainted at the coarse language flowing like water from the two Varia commanders.

Twenty-six rounds later, Xanxus had thoroughly 'spanked' his subordinate and was gloating ("In your face, fucker!") rather comically.

It was a side of Xanxus Tsuna was sure hadn't even existed until now. But then again, he'd already been proven wrong once so far. He wondered what other little surprises would pop up this weekend. The Vongola boss really wanted to see the group of killers in their natural habitat. Tsuna was sure it would easily be one of the funniest, if not weirdest, things he'd ever see in his life, if their behavior so far was any hint.

"Lambo-san wants to play! Lambo-san wants to play!" The annoyingly loud thunder guardian shouted right in Gokudera's ear. After relinquishing control of the wireless controllers, Xanxus and Squalo both meandered into the kitchen, presumably for the former to eat breakfast/lunch/brunch (and begin his daily booze consumption), and the latter to bitch at him all the way over there about how he cheated.

Gokudera had been waiting patiently, and was now up against Yamamoto, who decided to give it another whirl. The bomb-wielder saw it as his opportunity to impress his dearest tenth. But clearly, Lambo had other ideas, as the bratty child tried to snatch the remote from the older man's hands.

"Hey stupid cow! I'm next!" He shouted while trying to wrestle the controller out of Lambo's surprisingly vice-like grip.

"Nooo! Lambo-san is next!" He said, and with that, the eleven year old promptly bit Gokudera's finger quite hard, and ran off with the device when Gokudera's grip loosened.

"Nyhahaha! Lambo-san is the winner!" The boy shouted arrogantly as he sprinted out of the living room and down the hall, Gokudera hot on his tail.

"Get back here you dumbass cow!" Gokudera screamed at the boy, as Lambo swiftly rounded the corner. The now thoroughly irritated storm guardian heard him run into one of the rooms and slam the door closed.

The silverette immediately heard screaming and a few seconds later heard knives rushing though the air and a slam against the wall in the hallway. He sped around the corner, and froze.

Gokudera slapped a hand over his mouth to keep his presence hidden, but more importantly to keep from bursting out laughing at the little cow's misfortune.

Lambo was pinned to the wall upside down; a very familiar set of knives forming a perfect outline of the boy's haphazardly positioned body, kind of like when cops drew a chalk outline around a body on the ground. Lambo was sniffling his mantra of 'endure,' before giving up and promptly bursting into tears.

Gokudera snorted. _Serves him right._

Belphegor stepped out of the room a minute later, clad only in a pair of plaid sleeping pants and white socks. With another at least twenty-something odd knives in his pale hand, the prince sashayed over to the prepubescent bovino, smiling that jovially sinister smile of his.

Gokudera groaned. He knew there was a reason he hated Lambo. But alas, he knew that if he didn't do something, they'd be eating Lambo burgers for Christmas, courtesy of Chef the Ripper.

"Leave him alone, bastard! He was just playing!" He shouted. The prince turned to him, Cheshire grin at a maximum.

"Ushishishi~! He interrupted the prince's beauty sleep." Belphegor said as he twirled a knife in his hand, staring pointedly at the boy. The prince sauntered up to child who at this point had begun to fear for his life and was all but begging Gokudera to save him. Belphegor smiled as he ran the gleaming tip of the knife over the Lambo's exposed stomach.

"There's an artery there, ya know," The sadistic blonde began, smirking twistedly.

"Just one slash and his blood'll spray all over this hallway. Ushishishi~!" He said, pressing the serrated edge of his signature knife a bit harder onto the boy's flesh. His wrist was immediately ensnared by a strong hand.

"I said, Leave. Him. Alone." Gokudera ground out, tightening his hold on the blonde's slim wrist. Belphegor didn't flinch.

"Let him go!" The storm guardian barked angrily. The prince's smile turned devious as he tugged on the invisible wire that linked the knives around Lambo. The little Bovino fell to the floor with a thud, shaking his head lightly before he quickly picked himself up off of the floor and ran screaming down the hall.

"The crazy prince is gonna kill Stupidera!"

Gokudera turned away from the prince to watch irately as the little boy ran away. Belphegor took that chance to get out of the tight grip, immediately twirling the hand attached to his captured wrist around to grip the storm guardian's own wrist and painfully twist it.

Gokudera groaned in pain as he was pinned to the wall, held in place with a knife in his shirt cuff. Belphegor's hand remained on the hilt of the knife as the blonde pressed himself against the struggling storm guardian, looking very smug.

"Well, well, well, this is quite a predicament you've gotten yourself into, Hayato-kun. Shishi~!" Prince the Ripper said, quickly snatching Gokudera's free hand, which was heading straight for his face, and pinned it next to its twin above the younger man's head with a second knife.

"Let me go you sick fuck! I wasn't gonna let you hurt him!" Gokudera ground out as he struggled futile against the older man's deeply embedded knives. Belphegor feigned hurt.

"Why are you fighting so much, Hayato-kun? I'm not gonna hurt you …" The slasher smirked lecherously. Gokudera felt a hand trail up his polo shirt, over the toned plane of his stomach and up his chest. He hissed when the blonde teasingly tweaked one of his nipples between two dexterous fingers.

_Great! This pervert's gonna rape me right in Jyuudaime's hallway!_ The storm guardian screamed in his head.

"Shishi~! Oh they're so cold! Would you like me to warm them up for you?" The blonde asked in a low, husky voice as he pressed his lips to Gokudera's neck, peppering the inviting flesh lazily with little butterfly kisses.

Gokudera shivered involuntarily, doing his best to stifle the moan that desperately wanted to escape his lips as Belphegor sensually kissed and nipped at his sensitive neck. He felt his breathing get a bit shallow, and his mind was getting hazy. It was getting increasingly difficult to fight against the taller man. The prince had detached himself from the crook if his neck, and began to kiss slowly along his jaw line,while alternately tweaking and rubbing the hard nub under his shirt.

_Oh that felt gooood…. _

He suddenly heard what vaguely sounded like quick footsteps around the corner.

_I knew there was a reason why I loved Lambo._ He thought. He had never been as grateful for the obnoxious boy as right then. Belphegor frowned at having his fun interrupted once again. He pulled away from Gokudera's neck, and settling himself less than an inch away from his face.

He smirked.

"That was nice, wasn't it, Hayato-kun? The prince promises it'll be even better next time. And believe me, there **will** be a next time." The blonde said, voice seductively low as he slowly flicked out his tongue, running it erotically over the silverette's bottom lip. Gokudera unconsciously licked his lips when the prince pulled completely away from him and removed the two knives from his cuffs.

At that moment, Tsuna and Yamamoto skidded to a stop in front of the pair, Lambo shouting unintelligibly in the background to a third person, who sounded a lot like Squalo.

"My wall!" Tsuna groaned pathetically as he clutched his hair in frustration. He hated being right.

"VOOOOIIII! What's going on in here? Bel! What the fuck did you do to the wall?" Squalo thundered in the smiling blonde's face as he jabbed an indignant finger toward the wall.

Belphegor shrugged.

"It wouldn't have happened if the little shit over there hadn't interrupted the prince's sleep." He said, crossing his arms. Squalo growled.

"That's no excuse! We're not at home you asshole! You can't just go around flinging knives at everyone!"

The prince sighed exasperatedly. He was probably rolling his eyes under that curtain of gold in his face. Squalo's face turned an odd shade of red at the obvious disregard in the prince's body language. He quickly snatched the banana Yamamoto had been eating out of his hand and waved it around in front of the prince's face.

Belphegor tensed noticeably.

"You see this banana? It's going straight up your ass if you don't find some way to fix that goddamn wall!" The Varia second in command roared at the blonde, who was staring at the fruit apprehensively.

He raised his hands in defense.

"Alright, alright, sheesh. Don't get your panties in a twist! The prince will write a check for the damage." He said nonchalantly as he sauntered off in the direction of the kitchen.

When he was out of sight, everyone immediately looked at Squalo, clearly flabbergasted. The swordsman smirked.

"He's allergic to bananas."

"Wow. He left pretty quickly. He must be really allergic." Tsuna said, scratching his head as he halfheartedly inspected the damage to his wall. Thankfully, Belphegor's blades were so thin that the little slits they left in the wall were not visible at first glance.

Hopefully his mother wouldn't notice.

"Yeah. He'll go into anaphylactic shock and die. I'd move my ass too."

Everyone laughed at the prince's plight while they vacated the hall, leaving Gokudera alone.

The storm guardian leaned his head frustratedly against the wall. That had been way too close for comfort. He rubbed the sore spot on his neck, where he was certain he would have a bruise later from the prince's rough ministrations. Why hadn't he fought harder? It wasn't like the blonde was that much bigger than him. He could have pushed him away if he had truly willed it.

So why?

Gokudera sighed as he patted his warm face. As ashamed as he was to admit it, the prince's sensual teasing had felt amazing. The silverette wanted to punch himself for being so weak. He would have to be sure to keep his distance from the Varia storm commander for the rest of the weekend.

_I guess I should start carrying a banana in my pocket_. He chuckled to himself as he too headed toward the kitchen, where he heard a new commotion beginning.

* * *

Soooo? How do y'all feel about B59? Pairing? Or just leave it as one-sided affection (perversion)? Reviews make the world go round! See ya in a few days!

Love Sushi*Bomb!


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE:HELP!

Hey guys, Sushi*Bomb here. Sorry for not updating this story recently. I am working on it, I swear! But I have an idea I'd like to get everyone who's been following this fanfic's opinion on.

So, I've been thinking about this for a couple of days, and I'm considering taking down D.H.H. and rewriting it as a Christmas themed story. I realized that since it is December, I should obviously write something for Christmas. And, since my story was originally meant to be for Thanksgiving, (which they don't celebrate in Japan anyway), and probably won't be finished anytime soon (because I have a Ph.D. in procrastinating) I should just change it to fit the holiday!

I think it'll be a bit easier for me to write it this way, since I've had epic writer's block with this story lately anyway. =(

It won't be too big of a change, really. I'm just gonna go through and edit some stuff, maybe change some scenes around, add some in, and take some others out.

I'll probably leave it up, and just go through and replace the chapters one by one. Keep in mind, this is still a consideration, and I'm curious to know what you guys think. So, what should I do?


	5. You're Fat

A/N: Ehhhh..hello there. Sushi*Bomb is here, after like a month of writer's block and procrastination, with the next chapter of Define 'Happy Holidays.'

I really appreciate everyone's feedback, and I'm glad most of you were relatively supportive of my holiday theme change. Even though Christmas is also now passed, I still plan to finish this story. However, I think I'm going to make the chapters shorter, so I can update a bit more regularly. There will just be more chapters, thats all.

Also, in regards to the B59 pairing, I'm still on the fence about it, seeing as how half of you are all for it, and the other half are in favor of a one-sided thing. Hmmm..I'll just go with the flow for now, and see how it pans out. I happen to be a fan of Bel and Gokudera's little 'encounters' because those are fun to write. Whether or not they evolve into something more…well. We'll have to see.

That being said, time for love and shout outs:

For Chapter 3:

**DarkeFlame**: I see what you did there lol And the game can suck ittttttt haha.

**Ezcap 1 st**: Indeed it is. And the outfit is freakishly colorful, just like Lussuria!

**Reidluver**: Isn't it? Seeing as how they don't have a female touch around the mansion (Lussuria doesn't count xD), I imagine that they would take a shine to Tsuna's mommy. After all, who can resist the power of Nana Sawada? She's so cute! She's like a little baby chick!

**Carlilelovesanime**: I'm glad you approve. Squalo is such a housewife!

**RHEA sophie**: Yes ma'am. But they're coming in a bit later. You'll see.

**Batsuko mugenmo**: Heh… tickle tickle tickle! Glad you're enjoying it so far!

**Shinesetsu13**: Yay! Thank you!

**AruDaKol**: I agree, it is a very overlooked pairing. I'm so into it! And awww…thank you so much. That means a lot. Nana Sawada= Awesome Mommy Power.

For Chapter 4 AKA the author's note:

I didn't really want to comment on every single review, so in short: Thanks for your help guys, I appreciate it!

And now for the actual Chapter 4! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Sushi*Bomb does not owne Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Surely, Akira Amano doesn't have an issue with procrastination like I apparently do.

* * *

You're Fat.

* * *

"Jyuudaime what's-" Gokudera.

"Shh! It's just getting good stupidera!" Lambo.

"Tch…stupid cow!" Gokudera.

"Hey trash, where's my fucking omelet?" Xanxus.

"Hiiii! Should we say something?" Tsuna.

"VOOOIIIII! Make your own goddamn omelet!" Squalo.

"Nah, relax. This'll be over in a few minutes, trust me." Fran.

"Ushishishi~! Hey baby, I was wondering where you were…" Belphegor.

"I'll ram this bomb in a very unpleasant place if you take one step closer." Gokudera.

"Bitch. **I said**, make me an omelet." Xanxus.

"Are you sure?" Tsuna.

"Aww, Hayato-kun, don't deny my love! I thought we bonded!" Belphegor.

"I ain't your motherfuckin' wife!" Squalo.

"Yeah, this happens all the time." Fran.

"Like hell we bonded, knife-freak." Gokudera.

"If I don't see an egg cooking in that pan in the next two minutes, I'm gonna shoot off your other hand. And I **know **that's your 'happy time' hand." Xanxus.

"…" Squalo.

"See? Told you." Fran.

After the little fiasco in the hall, the group of Mafiosi currently inhabiting the Sawada residence migrated into the kitchen, where the two Varia commanders were engaged in an escalating argument about…cooking eggs. To be specific, Squalo was arguing against havng to make the moody commander any, and Xanxus was threatening him into submission.

"It's like they're married, isn't it?" Fran said absently.

Naturally, Gokudera barely made it into the room before the blonde royal latched on to him. At least now there were people around, so he couldn't try that little stunt he pulled out in the hallway.

Squalo grumbled irately as he shuffled back over to the stove in defeat. The silverette gave Xanxus the finger when the other man turned around to glare at their 'audience.'

"What the fuck are you looking at?" Xanxus grunted lowly, knocking back a shot of the tequila Tsuna had all but promised him the day before.

Everyone else dispersed from the doorway quickly with the exception of Fran, who just stared back, face completely blank, and Tsuna, who just scratched his head, laughing nervously.

"Ushishi~! Hey Squ-squ, can I have one too?" Belphegor asked as he detached himself from the silver-haired bomb-wielder (much to Gokudera's uncontainable relief), and playfully draped himself over the older man's tensing shoulders. Squalo growled, nearly snapping the wooden spatula from the power of his grip.

"Sure." He said through gritted teeth. Belphegor kissed his cheek in gratitude.

"Yay omelet!" The prince shouted happily right in Squalo's ear.

"VOOOOOIII! What the fuck did I tell you about kissing me?" He snapped at the blonde. Belphegor chuckled.

"I dunno Squ, I don't listen to you when you talk! Shishi~!"

"!"

Tsuna looked around the kitchen, noticing suddenly that someone was absent.

"Where's my mom? And Lussuria-san?" Squalo looked up from his place at the stove.

"They went to the store to get some more shit for the dinner tonight. Said they'd be back soon." He grumbled before begrudgingly returning to flipping the egg in the pan when his boss nudged him roughly in the side.

"Yeah, yeah it's cooking already!" He shouted. Tsuna scratched his head, looking slightly puzzled.

"What more could she possibly get? She practically bought the whole store when we went yesterday…" He said, crossing his arms. Squalo snorted.

"Xanxus wanted steak. So she went to get some." Xanxus smirked, pouring himself another shot.

"VOOOOIIII!" Gimme some of that!" Squalo yelled as he slammed a plate down in front of his boss.

"Tch…fuck you."

"Xanxus! Give me a shot!"

"No you piece of shit."

Tsuna glared at the older man. His mother wasn't a servant.

"You made my mom go back to the store…to get steak?" He gritted out, his eyes turning amberish as his dying will flame rose with his agitation. Xanxus leveled the younger mafia boss with a glare of his own.

"I didn't make your mom do a damn thing, trash. For your information, I made Lussuria go get me steak. She just went because she said she ran out of rice." He said, crossing his arms and smirking smugly as Tsuna's bright flame promptly fizzled out.

"Oh…alright then…eheheh…" He said, looking very sheepish. Xanxus had changed a lot more than he thought. He was more than sure that the older man, in the past, wouldn't have thought twice about making such childish demands of a poor unsuspecting woman, such as Nana.

"Squ-chan! Where's my omelet?" Belphegor whined, poking the older man in the ribs sharply. The swordsman swatted the offending hand away irritatedly; grumbling as he once again took his place at the stove and started frying up another egg.

Tsuna heard the front door suddenly open and close, and sure enough a few seconds later, his mother walked in holding a couple of bags of groceries, along with Lussuria.

"Hey boys! Nice to see the rest of you are up! Can you give me a hand with these, Tsu-kun?" His mother asked, handing off the heavy bags to her son. When he took them, she sighed, rubbing her tired arms with relief.

"Phew! So what are the rest of you going to do today?"

"Well, I still have Christmas shopping to do, so I guess the mall?" The russet-haired boss suggested, looking around the kitchen. Gokudera immediately jumped up from his seat at the table and ran to his beloved boss's side.

"I'll gladly accompany you, Jyuudaime!" He exclaimed valiantly. Yamamoto, who had been out in the living room with the younger members of the household and Bianchi, smiled upon hearing the plans.

"Oh sweet! I'll come too!" He shouted jovially, earning a heated glare from Gokudera.

Tsuna looked next to him, where Fran was still leaning against the border of the doorway, observing the scene of domesticity before him apathetically. The Vongola boss nudged him slightly.

"Hey Fran-san, wanna come too?"

Fran shrugged.

"Sure, why not."

"Well if my dearest pupil is going, I most certainly will accompany you all, Tsunayoshi-kun. Kufufu~!" Tsuna jumped nearly ten feet at hearing the sudden voice of his mist guardian to his right.

"HIIIIIII! Mukuro-san! Where the-" Fran waggled a finger at the older illusionist disapprovingly.

"You shouldn't scare people like that master." Mukuro chuckled.

"Of course, of course."

"Mukuro-san, where on Earth did you come from?" Tsuna asked, looking incredulous. How the heck did he keep showing up like that? Mukuro crossed his arms, chuckling a bit louder.

"What do you mean, Tsunayoshi-kun? I've been here all day."

"HIII? Is-is that why my window was open?" Tsuna shrieked. Fran gave Mukuro a deadpanned looked.

"Wow master, you came in through the window? THAT'S not creepy at all. Are you aware that most people would just knock on the front door? That's its purpose, you know." The illusionist said sardonically.

A snort was suddenly heard from the other side of the kitchen. Belphegor siddled over, a mockingly dainty hand covering his ever-growing smile. Mukuro's lips immediately curled into a very 'mean girl'-esque looking smirk.

"Oya oya, well if it isn't Bel the Back-alley Hooker. Something you find funny?" Belphegor stiffened slightly at the jab, but continued walking over until he stood face to face with the dark-haired illusionist.

"You actually fit through the window? That's shocking in and of itself." The prince said, poking Mukuro in the stomach rudely. The Vendicare convict's eyebrow twitched.

Fran nudged Tsuna in the side. The Vongola boss turned to the older man in question, finding the slight smirk on the pale illusionist's face a bit unsettling.

"Remember how I told you last night that watching Bel-sempai and master argue is one of life's greatest pleasures?" Tsuna nodded.

Fran chuckled as the two watched Belphegor repeatedly poke Mukuro in the hip, mocking his 'love-handles.'

"Well here they go. Enjoy."

Mukuro slapped the prince's offending hand away in a huff, smoothing the wrinkles from where the prince's fingers had jabbed him before out of his shirt.

"Are you suggesting that I've gained weight, Belphewhore?"

The blonde shrugged, Cheshire grin widening exponentially.

"Nooooo, I'm suggesting that you're fucking fat. It must be all of that junk food you and your Kokuyo stooges live off of. Ushishi~!" Mukuro's eyes widened to the size of saucers. He immediately lifted up his shirt, trying not to look frantic as he inspected his lower torso (which was actually quite slim and very well-defined) for any such extra baggage.

Belphegor made a gagging sound.

"Christ on a fucking cracker. Look at that gut! Somebody needs a Bowflex."

Mukuro's trident suddenly appeared.

"I'm not fat! Take that back you whorish swine, before I impale you!"

Belphegor whipped out several knives, smiling his trademark smile.

"Bring it on fatass!"

Tsuna was an odd combination of terrifed, embarrassed and bewildered. The young mafia boss found himself wondering on a few things. Firstly, he had no idea that Mukuro could be so shallow. From where he was standing, it was more than obvious that Mukuro was the picture of perfect health, and yet the mist guardian looked almost distraught as the blonde prince teased him. Tsuna supposed Fran hadn't been lying when he said that the two killers were very alike in some ways.

Secondly, how on Earth had his mother, who was still in the kitchen, not noticed the 'epic battle' occurring less than ten feet behind her? Mukuro and Belphegor weren't exactly quiet. It was strange, but to be perfectly honest, there couldn't have been a better time for his mother's obliviousness to kick in. Tsuna was sure the bubbly woman would have probably had a fit if she saw Belphegor and Mukuro wrestling around on the floor, stabbing one another savagely with their respective weapons, hurling insult after insult at each other. His mother must have a mental filter of some sort. Violence and swearing apparently didn't register in her mind.

Or maybe Lussuria was just really good at being a distraction.

_That must be some soup her and Lussuria-san are cooking._ He thought, as he tore his eyes away from the battling mafiosos and instead shifted his honey gaze to Nana, who was animatedly chatting with Lussuria about some weird food item she was holding. Yeah, the latter was probably the most accurate.

Tsuna turned to Fran, who was still watching the older hitmen go at it with relative indifference.

"Fran-san, I thought you said they don't do anything but argue?" He whispered heatedly. Fran shrugged nonchalantly, eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Mukuro-sama is very sensitive about his weight."

Tsuna resisted the urge to shriek. First his hallway, and now his kitchen was going to be massacred as well. Luckily for the Vongola boss, a certain Varia commander had other plans. Xanxus fired several shots at the feuding pair, who immediately sprung apart to avoid being hit by the bullets.

"I'm trying to eat my goddamn breakfast you scumtwats. Shut the fuck the up before I murder you."

The two younger assassins grumbled but relented, giving each other dirty looks before seperating. Belphegor stuck his tongue out at Mukuro in a most childish manner before returning to what he was doing before, namely harassing Squalo until he finished cooking his omelet. Mukuro flipped him the bird before grabbing his 'dearest pupil' by the hand and stomping out the door in an uncharacteristic huff, presumably to 'relieve some stress,' muttering about how he wasn't fat the whole time.

Tsuna scratched his cheek sheepishly.

Poor Fran.

He was more than likely going to be limping all the way the mall.

* * *

I'm sooooo sorry that this chapter is so short. But I swear it's not because I'm lazy. It's just that I wanted the upcoming events to have their own chapter, as well as solidify some of the character relationships and interactions. Also, I wanted to post something for this story before I had a seizure. I refuse to leave this story imcomplete! I don't care that it's not Christmas lol I'm going to finish this story dammit!

So anywho, I know nothing much really happened in this chap, but please read and review! The next one will be up soon. (And by soon, I mean soon. As in a week or two. Not a month like this one.)

S*B is out!


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